Luke 5


Standing by the sea of Galilee.

crowds of people pressing in on him.

desperate for His teaching.
perhaps longing for a miracle of their own.
 perhaps needing Jesus like they needed their very breath.

they rush, press, push in on Jesus.

And Jesus?
he sees two boats in the water.

out of all the crowds, all the people, all the needs,
Jesus sees two fisherman that were having a very rough day.

their frustration and discouragement weren't lost on the Savior.

out of the throngs of people,
Jesus SAW them.

He sees me, too.
in my frustration, in my desperation, in my pain, in my life...

{Jesus sees}.

 Luke 5.


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early in the morning hours,
I, once again, flip the worn pages of my Bible to the story of Joseph.

my steaming cup of coffee - in one of my favorite mugs, a deep sunshine yellow -
 warming my hand,
i read the words, searching for answers.

it's not a secret that it's been a hard few months for us.
well, really, a hard year.

but as I have started to emerge from this all-encompassing vortex called 
{adoption and adoption loss} I have been living in the past year, 
and started to re-connect with our lives as they should be,
i've learned it's been a hard year for lots of my friends as well.

and my heart hurts for them, too.

our lives are just hard, and this side of eternity, we won't have answers our hearts desperately seek.



rejected by his brothers,
sold into slavery,
thrown into a pit.

his life wasn't making sense.
our lives for the past year?
they make no sense
and believe me, I have asked my questions.

But I get to verse 2 of Genesis 39, and my heart pauses.

{but the Lord was with him and he prospers}

the Lord was with him in the midst of the confusion.
in the midst of the pit, in the midst of the being sold into slavery,
 in the midst of the being rejected by his family,
{the Lord was with him}.

and my tears come.

the Lord is with me.
and for that moment, the moment in the depth of the pain and grief, I cling to that verse.

{the Lord was with him}

aand pray that it will be enough for my heart.
that the truth of
{the Lord is with me}
will be bigger than all my questions.

I pray it will be enough for your heart, too.