To Everyone Who Has Followed our Adoption Journey

 i write and hit {publish}, fighting back the tears that have been on the verge for the past several months. this is a hard season for us,
a season we never saw coming,
a season we don't understand.
here's part of the story.


Sneaking a few moments of quiet during the usual loud of our summer schedule,
I sat my coffee down on the floral tablecloth.
I opened my Bible
but before I could even read the words, tears clouded my vision.

it wasn't supposed to end like this, Lord.

{it wasn't supposed to end like this}.


three years ago,
I met a beautiful toddler boy with deep, beautiful brown eyes.

in an instant, my heart loved him.
loved him like only a mother can.
we pleaded for, prayed for, and advocated for him over and over again.

through a variety of Divine circumstances,
about a year ago,
the door for adoption had finally opened for us,
and we were thrilled - thrilled! - 
to announce the Lord's leading in our life to 
defend the cause of the fatherless and bring Miles 
-a now 4-year-old -
home forever.

 The Lord clearly led in every step of the grueling international adoption process,
even using social media in amazing ways.
So many of you -
friends near and far -
surrounded us and championed our journey.

we felt your excitement as you donated money to provide shoes, books, and over 600 pairs of underwear to fly around the world to Miles' friends at his orphanage.

you {liked} and commented on my facebook and instagram statuses,
and told us time and time again that you were praying for us,
praying for Miles.

When we returned home from Uganda in mid-December,
our adoption journey became infinitely harder.

Most of you know that we, 
as a family,
have faced health crises after health crises,
month after month.

In January I was diagnosed with a heart condition, 
which, through the Lord's sovereignty,
would allow Matt to travel back to Uganda in March.

In April,
my heart condition returned,
causing serious chest pain, pressure, and fatigue.

The world of international adoption is complicated,
and international adoption laws change regularly.

The US enacted a new law that went into effect recently,
a law that changed the way Ugandan adoptions are processed.

This new law meant that after July 14, 2014,
essentially our Ugandan legal papework would be nullified.

With my heart condition,
it made international travel simply not safe or healthy for myself or our family.

So, with grieving hearts,
we recently passed this deadline of July 14,
knowing that our dream of Miles living under our roof
was different than the plan our Sovereign Lord has for us.

My finite, human heart cannot understand the journey the Lord has taken our family on,
but we trust in what we Cannot See to do that which we cannot do.

We hare making plans for Miles to receive some medical care he is in need of,
and he remains our son,
whether under our roof in Indiana 
or in the red dirt of beautiful Uganda.

I know that words are not enough,
but I will say it anyway.
Thank you.

Thank you for supporting this journey with us.
thank you to all of you who have bought a body butter or lip balm or body scrub -
every.single.penny has gone towards bringing Miles home.

Thank you for all the care and love and prayers you have given us over the past year.
thank you for all your encouraging posts and comments -
even through facebook and instagram I have felt surrounded by friends.

thank you for pleading the cause of the fatherless with us,
even when the end purpose is different than we ever saw coming.

he remains our son. even in Uganda.
he remains our son.