Ways to Support your Pastor's Wife

part of me hesitates writing this because we love - truly, truly, truly love - our church body.
our congregation has bent over backwards to make us feel loved, and we truly do.

so, i don't want to this to seem like a help-me-out-right-this-second post. it's not.  maybe a better title would be {what your pastor's wife wishes you would know?} 
i'm going to type, and hope it comes out well. :)


one of my facebook friends is my former youth pastor.  he was the pastor of the Nazarene church in town, and although i grew up Baptist, i attended his youth group for my last 2 years of high school.  i have fond memories of Pastor Rick and his wife - they were always so, so, so inviting and welcoming to me, and "outside" kid.  
one of his devotionals about evangelism has stuck with me to this day:
that I need to be willing to {cut a hole in a roof} 
- or to do whatever it takes! -
 to bring my friends to Jesus.

Pastor Rick now pastors a church in Texas, and he posted this link on Facebook tonight.

and, with my whole heart, as i read, i said yes! yes! yes!!

and, as a pastor's wife, when i got to the end of the article, I wanted it to continue, just a bit.
and include ways to support the entire family on a Sunday.

because, Sunday is a big, big, big day in our household. 



want to love your pastor, and his family, well on a Sunday?

here's my opinion on how.

pray for them.
seriously, pray. pray hard. 
 I cannot even list all the weird, random, 
and emergent things that we have had happen 
on a Saturday evening and Sunday morning.

after awhile of our Saturday evenings being horrendous, 
a prayer team gathered to cover our Saturday evenings in prayer.

and then, the next Sunday morning?
our then 3-year-old-son tripped and fell and sliced his head open 
and we ended up in the ER with 4 staples.

so, pray for them.

drop by with hot coffee and donuts.
well, maybe not.  but breakfast for the kids? 
i may just hug you. or burst into tears of relief.
 park her car.
my husband arrives at church hours before i do.
i spend the morning corraling little kids -
{read: making them not kill each other}
to get us to arrive at church in one piece.

this past Sunday? everyone got icecream if they got shoes on and got in the car right.that.second.

Sunday mornings can be rough.  and then? you arrive at church.
and it's freezing. and snowy. and you have kids to take in. 
there is a wonderful, kind man at our church that parks my car for me.
and, truly? it's such a great act of service.

tell her she looks good.
well, not really. :)
but, don't tell her anything negative.
about her, the church, or her husband.
your pastor's wife is fiercly loyal, fiercly defensive, and fiercly passionate about your church.
on Sunday morning - which is essentially the Superbowl of ministry -
 don't tell her one.negative.thing.
she may just run to the bathroom crying.

tell her her husband is doing a terrific job.
being a pastor thrusts you into the public's opinion - 
which isn't always positive. 
there's very little i like hearing more than people's positive opinion of my husband.
and, if you don't have a positive opinion?
just don't tell me.

say hi. sit by her.
i've written about sitting by her before.
please, say hi! ask her how she is. make polite conversation.
i often stand around, feeling kinda awkward, when everyone's talking with their families. 

get her kids checked into the children's area quickly.
if you help in children's ministry, help get the pastor's kids checked in quickly.
NOT that she feels so important that she can bypass the standard procedure,
but because standing in line, while trying to talk with a hundred different people at once?
and trying to scan the foyer for visitors, thinking about which ones she hasn't met and needs to talk with?
it's difficult.
get the kids checked in so she can visit with the people she needs to.

 want to really, really, really help and love your pastor and his family on a Sunday?
take them lunch or supper.

Sundays wipe us out.
and often my husband has meetings or luncheons or more classes to teach after the service.

and while i know that I'm supporting him, and his ministry, while he's at those meetings or luncheons or classes, it can make for a l-o-n-g day.

i'm sure your pastor and family feels the same way.
take them a meal on a Sunday - and cross one major thing of your pastor's wife's to-do list
she'll love you forever.

i encourage you to just TELL your pastor and his wife that you love them, pray for them, and support them.  those words of affirmation? they're truly priceless.  pastors get a LOT of critique - if you love your pastor's family, let them know.

and, that hot coffee and donuts i mentioned on a Sunday morning?
i think they'd probably receive that well, too. :)